I am staring at the screen, controller gripped in my hand. I am ready to kill or be killed for that matter. That is the risk you take when you embark upon this mission. It’s daunting, but it needs to be done.
Life is at my fingertips and within my ultimate control. Unless I slip up. Lose my way. Take the wrong turn, deliberate or not. Death is never far away. It lurks in the shadows around every bend I must take on my path and haunts my pursuits. Damn this game maker. Did he know how hard this was going to be? But I am sure that I will be able to re-energize with help. These missions are always full of backstops, no? There will be some potent formula or a magic bean to pump me up again, revive me, set me straight. I’ve played so many rounds, I should know the hints by heart by now; aware of the clues and who to rely on. There may be someone else on my team who might be able rescue me in the knick of time. Need to be open to that possibility. I don’t want to play this alone anyway. I need to see their names on the screen. They have my back. They know how to work the controllers, too, sometimes better than me. Maybe I need to surrender to them more? I mustn’t give up. I must keep laser focused in the war. I need to use all of my skills that I have to complete the mission successfully. My team is depending on me. I am depending on me! Of course, I want to win, come out on top. My goal is always to reign supreme over doom. I need to survive and see it through to the end. Isn’t that what the game is about? This gaming habit is an addiction, but it’s helping me to fine tune my creation process, like Pacman diligently and persistently gobbling up the pieces to win great treasure in the end. I want some treasure, too. I start to notice the signs of life that give me juice. I go for that. Admittedly, it’s not easy with these battery drawn controllers of mine, but if I recharge them then maybe I can carry on. To the right, I can get the internal gas I craves; to the left, my pit stop involves accepting some energy intake from another player. What I have learned is that in this game you need to give and receive to survive. No bones about it. You will lose if you go solo. To avoid death in this game you need to rebirth yourself by the minute, using your own skills, others and the universe. There are signs. You get better at noticing them. You just need to keep your eyes wide open and makes some choices that put life in the center. You’ll win if you do this, I promise. This game, my friend, is a vast web of interdependency and you are not alone. Good luck. And may your controller batteries never die.
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